hey fam!!!!!!

hey. i know its been a while since i posted and i promised g-ma that i would try to post today so here i am. lets see.......... nothing really exciting in my life has happened that you dont know about.....so......oh im still a vegetarian witch shatters kendras gues saying i would be one for about a week and then give in. lol. okay. i guess i must talk about my myspace and how everyone is taking it in the wrong way. alright........ um i know people have been conserned about my myspace latly because it does have darker images on it. im not going to lie and say i didnt know what i was putting uyp there because i did. some of the stuff you wouldnt understand because alot of things i do are part of inside jokes between me and my best friends. Im also not going to lie to myself and everyone else and say that i dont get depressed at times and that everything is fine because i do get depressed or sad at times and everything is NEVER going to be perfect. so im going to express my feeling on my myspace. i feel like im tired of hiding my feelings and yes i do like dark art and darker images not because im trying to make people worry its because ive been there/am there sometimes and i respect them. im not saying i only like "emo" or dark things i like preppy things too like the cloud layout and happy faces and eerything else all the preppy people like but still just because i like that stuff dosent make me suicidal. i mean now im strong enough that ive been through crap in my life that i wish i didnt have to go through and im still a freshman in highschool. i mean i have so much more to go through that now i can talk to people about things that have happened. i mean yes ive made mistakes and i will make mistakes because im a kid its wat i do and yes i deal with teenage angst like everyother kid in the world but now i can tell people im having problems. i realize now that it isnt good to keep things inside. i can talk to people and that makes me feel better. im not suicidal. i like dark art. i like to express myself in all kinds of ways and thats one of them. another is writing poems. it helps. but i really dont want anyone to worry about me. im fine i promise. trust me if i have problems now i tell people so they can try to help me because i dont want to go through that again and i know i hurt you guys during that and i really dont want to do that. but you just have to let me be me. let me make mistakes let me be me and let me express it. im tired of trying to keep all these things locked up. im tired of trying to walk on broken glass or walk on egg shells whatever you like to walk on because its to hard for me. i want my friends and especially my family to except me as i am. thats all i really want. im really sorry if im not what the family wants me to be and im sorry if i dont turn out to be a better person or a doctor or lawyer. im sorry about all these things but this is who i am and i just really hope that as my family you can except that. thats all i ask for. okay i think thats it. so if anyone wants to talk to me thencall me or email me or somethng.......famous last words: when you say peace, mean it. PEACE TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!amber